Love Dethrones Self

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!" – Philippians 2:3–8

The greatest obstacle to love isn’t lack of time, resources, or opportunity—it’s self. At our core, we are self-centered beings. Pride whispers that life is about us: our needs, our comfort, our recognition. That’s why, after Paul defines love as patient and kind, he immediately points to what love is not: it is not envious, boastful, arrogant, rude, or self-seeking. In other words, love dethrones self.

Every relationship is affected by this battle between pride and love. Envy says, “I deserve what you have.” Boasting says, “Notice what I have.” Arrogance says, “I’m better than you.” Rudeness says, “I don’t care about you.” And self-seeking says, “This is about me.” When self rules, love cannot survive.

But look at Jesus. He had every right to demand recognition, to cling to His divine privileges. Instead, He laid them down. He humbled Himself, took on the form of a servant, and went all the way to the cross. Love doesn’t wear a crown; love carries a cross.

To love like Jesus means daily dethroning self—choosing humility over pride, service over recognition, giving over grasping. It may mean listening when you’d rather talk, serving when you’d rather be served, forgiving when you’d rather stay angry. The world tells us fulfillment comes from putting ourselves first, but Jesus shows us the opposite: true joy comes when we put others before ourselves.

Today, ask God to help you examine your relationships. Where has self crept in and claimed the throne? Where are you living for your own interests instead of laying them down for the sake of love?

Reflection Question
In which relationship are you most tempted to make things about yourself, and what would it look like to practically dethrone self and serve that person this week?

"Love dethrones self. Love cannot coexist with pride, because real love looks like a cross and not a crown."

Prayer
Lord Jesus, forgive me for the ways I’ve let pride dominate my relationships. Thank You for modeling perfect humility by leaving heaven’s glory to serve and save me. Teach me to walk the path of humility, to put others first, and to love in a way that reflects the cross rather than a crown. Help me dethrone self daily, so Your love can flow through me. Amen.